My assumptions before my main comments. Note, you may disagree with me here, in some of these, which is fine. I don't expect complete agreement from everyone. But I think we all have to guard against Hyper Calvinist tendencies. We are all susceptible to degrees of Hyper Calvinism in some form. I still daily struggle with practical Hyper Calvinism not taking every opportunity to preach the gospel.
I'm guilty of being a Hyper Calvinist at one point in my theology. Two reasons come to mind. First, I don't like loose ends or tensions in my beliefs. Second, I was an Arminian at one point thus once I became convinced of the doctrines of grace, I felt betrayed by Arminian theology, therefore, reacted to the extreme against anything that reminded me of Arminian theology. Also my reading diet of philosophy at the time was not balancing my theology.
I believed in eternal justification, until I wrestled with Ephesians 2:1-9 (after listening to Scott K. Oliphint's criticism of Paul Helm on this issue), then I was lead to believe, in fact, we are children of wrath until temporally we believe in Christ, hence justified by faith, not election as previously believed. I affirmed God only hates the reprobate. But Matthew 5 convinced me God loves the reprobate in some significant sense. I believed God only desires to save the elect. However, after considering the very concept of God's command to everyone (both elect and reprobate) to repent and believe implicitly is a desire or want of God but due to a greater desire He chose not to save all; nevertheless there remains a real desire of God to save everyone yet he chooses only to save some for his purposes/prerogative.
My main comments. Is this you or someone you know? (Insert name here) was often commanded to repent and believe at church. He/she may also been taught rightly people are unable to repent and believe without divine grace. He/she has heard preaching that emphasizes divine judgment, wrath and hell. He/she may believe, God does not love anyone except the elect so he/she feels, God hates him/her. When that is not the full Biblical teaching of Matthew chapter 5. The preaching has caused him/her to look internally at his/her (levels of) conviction, guilt, shame, faith, experience, in response to the gospel rather than externally to Christ alone. It has put a burden on his/her back to meet standards Christians daily fail to attain for signs of regeneration. Hence he/she believes he/she witnesses daily hypocrisy. No, joy, rejoicing or peace in Christianity since he/she never measures up to the conviction, guilt, faith and experience told he/she must have. It's insecurity on steroids! It's like Hyper-Calvinism mixed with legalism. A deadly drug that paralyzes the soul. Thus he/she feels helpless, oppressed and apathetic.
I think he/she needs to hear, and experience the love, hope, mercy and scandalous grace of God in the gospel. He/she needs to see true beauty, meaning, purpose and value in Christ. Only in Him do we see God's goodness, love and grace poured out for us on the cross. He who is beautiful become ugly for us that we might be beautiful in God's sight. He who was invulnerable become vulnerable that we might find safety and security in Him. Despair and defeat is conquered, by hope and victory in, and through, Christ's death, burial and resurrection.
He/she needs to know Christ has not left him/her out. He offers himself, to save him/her. He demonstrates the extent of His love to him/her, God himself, Jesus, is willing to die the death he/she deserve to provide forgiveness. Jesus insists one will never have enough faith, conviction, shame, or repentance. A person will daily fail in these areas but Jesus makes right our wrongs. That is the point! We cannot be saved by good works but only by Jesus. It is not about what we need to do. We can never do enough. It's all about what Christ has done. He died for sins (which includes unbelief, apathy, hypocrisy, and shame). There is no sin to great He cannot forgive and there is no one He will reject that comes to him. He was rejected that we might not be rejected by Him. He welcomes, messed up people, with open, understanding, loving arms.